My ex-fiance dumped me on Valentines Day 2009 just 3 months before the wedding date. I wondered if God was punishing me.
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Over 12 years ago I decided to follow Jesus with all I had. I grew up Catholic & had a love for the Lord, but was one foot in, one foot out: followed when it was convenient, and did what I wanted the rest of the time.
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I realized the way I was living wasn’t doing the trick. As much as how I lived my life promised happiness, I was left discontent and feeling like, it was all meaningless.
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Before I was always hesitant to jump all in with God. I was scared I would lose myself. I was scared of what God would ask of me, or not ask of me. I thought my fears were coming true soon after becoming a Christian. I had a misconception that God was mean and was punishing me. I was engaged at that time to a person that wasn’t the right fit. And then that guy dumped me & again wondered if I was being punished.
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How very wrong I was. God is more kind and loving than I can ever imagine. His plans for me better than I could dream up myself. When I hand things over to Him, many times it doesn’t make sense at first. But later I see the bigger picture.
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God knew about Caleb: I had no idea. God knew he needed to weed out my constant addiction to attention from men: and used the broken engagement as a time to cling close to God and stop relying on others approval.
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God cares about me living a full life, not just a comfortable life. One soaked in meaning, love, joy, contentment. Jesus is not about quick fixes and temporary happiness to feel empty again.
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God wasn’t being mean: He was opening up my world. If you’ve ever felt like after following God’s way that He doesn’t see you or love you, it will just take time and obedience to Him to see that there’s a bigger plan at work. I’m so glad I keep going after my relationship with God. It lead me to California, to meet the love of my life Caleb, to start our company, getting to meet and serve so many amazing people, & I know so many more adventures ahead. Living a life soaked it love & meaning. Do you know how loved you are, friend? Love hearing from you!
