CAUTION: real life/ vulnerable material ahead.
I realized I didn't want to go on sharing my life with you without you knowing something about me. I have felt on my heart to share this, to have a voice for people that may feel similar to me and feel alone.
Self-hate has been a constant companion of mine for as long as I can remember. I was sexually, physical, emotionally abused starting at a young age and a root of fear, self-hatred, perfectionism, shame and mistrust have grown deep in me.
Wow have I sought healing. I've gone to a lot of counseling, had a lot of inner-healing prayer, succeeded in marriage and family masters program. God has healed me significantly. But lies always want to creep back in my head, and everyday I'm in a hard battle to overcome.
We all face battles everyday. Yours may look a lot different from mine but I want you to know, if you're in pain, you're not alone. I can look at people and think they have it all together but it's not true. We all have lies we fight (or don't realize we are believing) everyday. Let's fight this battle, friends. Find out what the truth God has to say about you, others and Him. Hurt people, hurt people. Forgiven people, forgive people. Loved people, love people. God's love has no end, He has taken my shame. He died on the cross for all of my short-comings and for those who have wronged me.
He loves them and so do I.
For so long I hid all my pain in the dark and tried to stuff it (hoping it would disappear), and that spark in me I tried to ignite with all kinds of different things but instead it snatched all my light.
9 1/2 years ago I brought the worst things I did and others did to me to God, and I've been going to Him ever since. Jesus became my safe hiding place where I can be free from my shame. He has ignited a spark, 🔥into a flame in me burns bright and I can't help but sharing it with you. The battle isn't over, but we have a Mighty Warrior and Mighty Counselor on our side if we let Him near. Love to hear from you!