Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
What are your thoughts towards Valentines Day? I had the worst Valentines day 8 years ago. I was newly engaged to a guy (not Caleb) and we planned our wedding. I had the dress, venue, bridesmaids dresses etc. It was my senior year of college at Penn State. On Valentine’s Day he took me out to dinner but didn’t say a word the entire time. It was super awkward to say the least. After dinner he broke up with me and took back the ring. Not the best Valentines day, right? That rejection was painful. My heart was broken.
At the time I was a new Christian (I met the guy soon after I gave my life to God). This guy was the leader of a ministry, older than me and taught me a lot about Christianity. The people in that ministry had become my new friends and I needed to separate myself from the crazy party lifestyle I had been living. Because the guy was the head of that ministry, I wasn’t allowed to go to a lot of events because he said it was too hard for him and so, I lost a lot of the close people in my life. In such a short time it seemed that everything had been stripped away from me, including so much of my identity.
I was so confused. I was doing things right this time, I was following God and the Bible and would now save sex for marriage (which I’ve held to). I was volunteering almost everyday, helping high school students and working with special needs kids. I read my Bible everyday, prayed a lot and thought my life had fallen together perfectly after committing my life and actions to Jesus. But still everything had fallen apart.
I had a lot of intense conversations and tears with God over the next couple months after the breakup.
I had several choices. Do I go back to my old way of life and say ‘whatever’ to God. Or do I choose to follow Jesus even in the midst of disappointment and dreams being shattered.
"God can change the worst things and make them into something beautiful"
After a very heated conversation and run with God I told Him “I choose you Jesus.” I choose to follow you and what your word says even when things don’t work out. I take You, Your love and grace is enough. Even if that means I’m alone on this earth, I choose you. Even when I make mistakes, I will repent to you, and know your love is enough to cover my shame.
That moment is one of the most pivotal moments in my life. It’s a moment I look back on a lot and one that I hold so dear to my heart and write with tears in my eyes. Jesus is enough. He is good even when everything around us doesn’t look good. I decided to follow Jesus and His word even if that meant not being liked, popular, etc. The way God thought about me had/has become more important that anything else.
Anyone who is reading this I want to encourage you today Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
This breakup is now something I’m extremely grateful for. There’s so much change that has happened in me from this. My perspective about marriage, a wedding, life and God has been shifted. In so many ways I was focusing on the wrong things. My hope and identity and beliefs about myself wouldn’t be at the place they are now without what God taught me through this experience. This terrible Valentines Day I thought was the worst thing to ever happen to me. Turned out my life really started in a new refreshing was from this day on. I believe disappointments when put into God’s hands can be turned into refining of our hearts and life.
I obviously had no idea that God had Caleb in store for me which is one of the greatest blessings I could ever ask for. If I would have stopped going after God’s will for my life there’s no way I would have ever met Caleb. But God led me from Pennsylvania to California, to meet the man even better than I had ever dreamed.
That doesn’t mean life is perfect now. There are other dreams that have been crushed in my life, other things that seem hopeless. There are ways that I’ve held to doing the right thing where I haven’t seen the reward yet. There are ways that I want to be different but keep falling into old patterns. But I’m holding onto God. I’m NOT holding onto bitterness. I trust Jesus that in the end He will make all things right. I live for the praise of my Heavenly Father King Jesus to say “well done my good and faithful servant.”
Are there any unfulfilled dreams in your life today? Disappointment or bitterness, God is faithful to heal your wounds, clean us from the inside out. What’s a memorable valentines day in your life? Please email us with prayer requests or comment your feedback! Thanks! Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
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